PREK HERE SHE COMES

 Carolina June holds my literal heart strings in her tiny hands. This girl is my miracle, my dream come true, my tiny bestie! and she healed my broken heart from years of wanting a baby. She turned my life upside down for the good and my sun does not rise or set without her! 

I love her whole face 

Isn’t she lovely 

Isn’t she wonderful 

Isn’t she precious 

Isn’t she pretty 

Truly the angels best 

Boy I’m so happy, we have been heaven blessed.  

I can’t believe what God has done

Through us, He’s given life to one

But isn’t she lovely?

Made from love! 

I had a tiny bit of nervousness getting ready for this day. So we started crafting 

All that was left was to say goodbye…..

The night before prek is rough 

We sent this to school, she colored it at church on Sunday. They had prayer stations set up in the fellowship hall for back to school 

I wrote what they had on the church table on the back of the heart so her teacher would know what it represents 

6:30 came early…and oh how I longed to just snuggle into bed and pull the covers over our head and ignore the day. 

But mommy put on her bravest face 

“Cheeeeese”

I felt horrible that I didn’t get a pic of her with her daddy. I intended to get one at school and the parking situation was a WRECK. Like Dane followed me in the work truck because he needed to go to work and he had to pull over and come drive the truck for me because I was in a situation I couldn’t get out of. Then we had to walk from the neighborhood by the school with school supplies basket beau Carolina and her backpack..and we were late because of the parking disaster 

Carolina did well walking in I think she remembered where we were for sure and I had been telling her that she was going to go to school. She hung her backpack on the hook by herself like the teacher showed her. But when it came time to say bye she screamed. My heart broke and I told her I love her and turned away as fast as I could because I was about to begin bawling! But her teacher sent me pics and told me she was doing great 

I’m so happy my nana came over to keep me and beau company. The plan was for her to bring coffee and donuts but you know I made myself literally ILL with horrific indigestion from stressing about Carolina starting school! So I had been sick for 3-4 days and the night before was by far the worst so I couldn’t stomach coffee or fried bread aka doughnuts lol but having her at home with me meant the world to me and she brought me beautiful sunflower salt and pepper shakers and snack cups for the kids. My nanas my best friend so girlfriend time was exactly what was called for! Beau Michael enjoyed her cane 

And alone time with mama 

We picked up sister from school and the teacher said she did great! Carolina was being quiet and I felt guilty for leaving her like she was mad at me so I said “are you traumatized baby??” And her teacher laughed and said “she is not traumatized she had a blast, she did really great!” She showed me a cute pic of her as well. The first day is in the books 🫶🏻 we went to the park for about 15 mins on the way home but it was too hot to play 

Carolina touched the slide and said “ouch!” And climbed back down. Good choice because I took beau down and I was wearing a dress and it was dry so my skin stuck to it and burned my bottom!

Meet the teacher

 

I can’t even with this big girl!

Ok so walking into the school I had a horrible feeling in my stomach. I was looking around at this gigantic school and holding my irreplaceable child’s little hand. All I could think is “she’s too little. How can she possibly be here without her mommy?!” I wanted to cry. 

We walked into her classroom and she jumped out of my arms and played and looked around the classroom saying wow! Look at that! And even said “I did it!” While playing with a toy and clapped for herself. The teacher ate her up. 

It made me feel better to see her be so comfortable and happy. But she’s my whole heart and like I said…she’s irreplaceable to me but not to the world and that scares me. How I can I leave her?! 

Door hanger for her teacher 

Ready or not my baby is starting school in less than a week! 

I prayed for this and then I let myself drown in it. 

It is absolutely possible when you’re in the thick of motherhood to feel joy and like you need a life boat within 2 minutes of each other. 

I am grieving the end of summer with Carolina June. It’s hard to believe that her “babyhood” full of slow mornings and no commitments is over. It was a MAGICAL 3 years. I will certainly be boohooing with her gone to prek but I am thrilled to death for my baby to find her words. I could cry thinking of all the wonderful things she must have to say! 

Here’s to being present and soaking up the chaos. 

The devil absolutely came after me and stole my joy and I didn’t even realize it was happening. I prayed for these crazy moments and I almost missed them. Moms are an EASY target we have a million things going on and our mental state is hanging on by a thread…don’t think for a second the enemy won’t use that as a playfield.