To my beautiful baby boy

 My undeserving newborn on our first night home. I stood in our bedroom as your sister was inconsolable on our first night home. Wondering how we were ever going to get through time and it had just started…literally. Anxiety overflowed my soul and I made myself get up in a world of pain and take this photo. I found my inner strength because I just know that I’m gonna want to look back on this moment and say we survived! Looking at your innocent face and how you were so undeserving of my worries and anxiety and all you deserve is a mommy who is thrilled about your arrival! Wondering how I would ever bond with you and make enough of myself for you and your new big sis. Trying to find all the answers that first night home. I pray that Carolina will adjust to your presence sooner rather than later. I pray I can soak up as many newborn snuggles and smiles as possible. Pray that even though you are my second baby you know that you are not second in my heart. I love your little face and features with all that’s in me! If anything when we get through this and we WILL I pray that me and you have a bond that is strong and we can look at each other and know we made it through together. We made it through the c section the hospital stay the first night home the postpartum healing and the baby blues and then we just maybe we will be adjusted and can start having the time of our lives! This is going to be such a big year for you and I as you learn so many new exciting things! I love you Beau Michael you are undeserving of all my fears and burdens but you are more than deserving off all my love 💙